What started out as something that used to be called in antiquity a “phone”, the latest version of the exo-suit has been designed with all possible utilities in mind so you don’t have to bother thinking about anything else. The Spaceman MK II owes its sporty, aerodynamic look to the gargantuan debacle of the first model, which barely sold any units despite its immense utility. With this in mind we have taken every effort to spice up the design with smooth, shiny curves, tons of unnecessary doodads, and a badass darth vader-esque look.

While scientists argued that having sleek, aerodynamic surfaces covered in super teflon is completely unnecessary for space travel, we believe that this is exactly what the future is about, customer satisfaction. The tentacle-like limbs are used for sucking out energy of any kind, making the model self-sufficient, while the Tetrahyperium armor is nearly indestructible so you can rest easy in the comfort of your own exoskeleton. And with a 13309468292843765 Zettabyte disk drive, you can enjoy any entertainment media ever made. This model has everything you need to lead a full, productive life in space until we figure out how to make the Earth habitable again.